i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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