what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
