Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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