I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
