well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
