So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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