He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my shit smells like andre
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
