hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize