If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
