could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
