how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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