Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize