oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
