Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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