Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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