I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize