You can't special order awesome
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
