Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
