I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
