so explain again why im purple
no
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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