Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize