Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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