i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
