the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize