i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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