I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize