I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
