Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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