there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
