The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
