So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
