i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize