Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
