Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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