I want to walk on stilts...naked
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
