If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
