East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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