Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
