HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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