lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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