i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
