We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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