Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
porn star boner night. come get it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
