Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
