What a fucking waste of an outfit
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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