paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
