Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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