As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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