But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
