you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
