If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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