Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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