Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm like, not good at living.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
