But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
