he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
