Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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