i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
