You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
