you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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