if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
being pregnant is like rehab
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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