Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
