yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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